July 29, 2003

There was a post on ReikiAloha not too long ago that talked about being humble. The poster worked with someone that had said he was humble, and the poster didn't think it was a jest. Ooook. Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

The poster was asking the same question. Because we try to be humble, does it make us so?  And if we are bold enough to declare that we are humble, doesn't that say just the opposite?  What is the deciding factor on whether we are humble or not?  Well, in my (ahem) humble opinion, I feel it has to do with other's perceptions of us.

We all have our own perceptions of ourselves, and everyone has their own perceptions of us. In some cases, they might be exactly opposites. A politician who thinks his being in office is the best thing for his people probably feels himself to be caring of others and willing to make the best steps forward. His constituents might easily consider him an egotistical wind bag that cares only for himself. Sometimes, 'my way is the right way' can be correct with the proper vision, but all too many times, it's not. Unfortunately, living in the south, I see that all too frequently with the different religious groups proclaiming that only their way is correct.

But now, we have to throw ego into the mix. Believe it or not, ego is necessary. Yes, that dreaded thing that we try to stay away from is necessary. The problem is. . . how much is the right amount? 

We all try to eliminate ego from healing, as we know that no matter what we say we do, we are not the ones doing the healing. That is being done by whatever divine force you believe in. We try to eliminate as much ego as possible, trying to be humble. Yet without some ego, we would do nothing.

It is ego mixed with desire that makes us pursue goals and attain them. It makes us want to be something or do something. It gives us the courage to offer to help someone, to heal them. Without it, we'd just be sitting on the sidelines. Does it matter to us to be good at what we do?  Yes. Does it matter that we be the best?  No. Everyone has a different skill set and skill levels. As far as healing goes, we do what we can, what we are allowed.

But, as I am learning, we do need faith in ourselves, and part of that is driven by the ego. It is that sense of 'I AM'. We need this to grow, to move forward. But we also have to know how much is enough and how much is too much. It is a difficult balance. I have been told by some people that I have the smallest ego (if I have any at all) that they have seen. That actually is probably part of my problem with believing in myself. How about that…  I need more ego. Right. Actually, I just need to find balance. And I think that's what we all need.

So, do we think of ourselves as humble?  And in that view, how many others see us the same way?  I think I would rather feel I was trying to be humble or trying to be perceived as humble, rather than thinking I was humble.

But then again, that's only my humble opinion. I could be wrong... or not.