Darkness Descending
I’m a caring person, a gifted healer, a source of positive energy. Why is it that sometimes I can’t find my way out of the dark?
I’m not getting into a discussion about how it is my perception of what I’m looking at that makes it good or bad. I know that, and I also know that it is very hard to change that perception when surrounded by unbelievable amounts of negativity. That said, I work in Hell. I work in the den of negativity, with a huge cloud of it hanging over the place constantly, and there are no windows. Telling me that it is just how I perceive it reminds me of this scene where the guy is pledging to this fraternity. He stands there bent over in his underwear while some big brute hits his backside with a big paddle, and with each hit, he says ‘Thank you sir, may I have another?’ Telling me it’s my perception is like telling me that this pledge is really liking it. (Of course, I guess he may be.)
In the last couple of years, I have been on a big emotional roller coaster. If not for the family and friends that stood by me (and God only knows why they have), I wouldn’t be here typing today. I am a very powerful person, energy wise. People can’t believe how positive I am when I am helping someone, or when I am healing. At the same time, people at work can’t believe how I can be positive about anything. I guess it’s the reversal factor... For every action, there has to be an equal and opposite reaction, (though I’m not sure its relative... get it? relative?). It could be called balance.
Right now, as I start working toward building a business, creating a clientele, and becoming my own employer, I am faced with having to put in so many hours at work that I may not be able to do that until after the first of the year, a time frame that distances me too far from those I worked on at school to be able to contact them, or to have contacting them do any good. It is a distressing situation.
But today, something magical happened. I was reminded that good things happen every day. A post on the ReikiAloha.com board made notation to that fact that whether I see them or not, good things are happening (see posted comment below). I’m just not noticing. I am preoccupied. Duh. The big question is can I look up enough to notice. And the trial is to start noticing the good stuff to balance out the bad. That is my test at this moment.
This morning, as I drove in to work, I entered this big dark tunnel that took a sharp turn downward. Since then, I have been plunging ever deeper. Then somebody turned on a light. They reminded me that all is not darkness. Sometimes it’s just a little thing that can make the difference between desperation, and hopefulness.
Thank you Raymond, for turning on the light. Now, can someone point out the brake pedal?
Posted at www.ReikiAloha (I invite you all to go there and take part in the forum)...
I was writing to a friend just now, telling her how all sorts of good things were happening to me yesterday, and as I was writing, I wondered, "Perhaps good things happen everyday, it's just that yesterday I was paying attention".
I'll try to pay closer attention from now on.
Raymond