We had an interesting fair today. It was a semi-slow day, though Kay seemed to have a fair (get it) bit of business.
It started with my not knowing if I had a room to work in. Kay had rented all her rooms, and hers had someone in it. She had suggested that I make a deal with her border for use of the room. I was not too sure about this as I didn't know who her border was. As it turned out, her border was one of her students whom I had worked with before. So, it was an easy exchange, one 30 minute massage for use of the room.
My first customer was a nurse who came to see Kay, and saw the sign that said massage, and decided that she was destined for it. She told me that she was shy, and had left her pants on. I told her that I could work there, but it would have to be before I got oil on my hands. She then asked me to turn around while she took them off. I told that she didn't need to be shy as I have my eyes closed during most of the massage. (That's actually true most of the time. I can see better with my eyes closed.)
I worked on her for about 40 minutes, paying attention to specific problems that she had. When I was done, she was feeling very good.
While between people, Kay's friend pulled me aside for a moment. This friend had come to stay with Kay (as several had) to help her after her surgery. Having been a nurse, she was concerned that in doing massage, I could trip a repressed memory in one of my subjects, and they could react badly. It was a realistic concern, and one that could happen to any therapist (massage or other) at any time. One could touch a person's back, and this could bring up a repressed memory of them being beaten by a parent. They could then react with any emotion, and accuse the therapist of misconduct or other things.
She was very concerned with this, and to some extent understandably. She was afraid that something would happen, and that as an unlicensed practitioner, not only would someone sue me, but they would sue Kay as well. This is what most concerned her.
She suggested leaving the door open a bit to make my subjects not feel as trapped. I told her that this really didn't work as people were getting undressed for their massage. I think this surprised her. I believe that she thought I was just doing back rubs through people's clothes. She then told me that I should really be asking my subjects about their childhood and such.
Unfortunately, I was still dealing with emotions that were wide open. My first feeling was to pack up and leave. It came across as 'how dare I take the chance of endangering Kay'. Her final words were to do what I want, but to be careful.
Now, I have done a lot of massages without having any problems. I attribute that to something I tell students they must always have, a professional attitude, and proper intent. Unfortunately, now that she had put it out to the energies, I got quite concerned that something could happen. No matter how many times, or using whatever methods, I couldn't clear the thought. At that time, I had one promised to the person renting Kay's room (I had to pay my rent), and one to Chris (usually my first subject each month). There was one more that I might be committed to, but I was waiting for her to tell me.
I went to the person watching the door, and told her not to take any more 'appointments' for massage. Then I started to work on those I was committed to figuring that I would go home when done.
I worked on Kay's border, then Chris, and then Terry (no, not Terri from Dublin). Terry had gone to the web looking for Kay's fair. Because some search engine actually catalogued all of my pages, mine was the first site to come up (especially since I have Kaimora listed in two places on my site). From there, she learned about Reiki, and then e-mailed me late the night before. I had gotten the message and replied that morning before leaving for the fair.
Terry saw Kay while her Mom had a Reiki healing, then, she got a massage. I was a little nervous working on her because of what had been said. I finally managed to clear my mind, and tap into the energies that I usually do when doing bodywork. She was very pleased, and I might have a Reiki student in the near future.
Before packing up, I helped with Reiki healings on Kay, and Terry. At that time, it was generally late, and business had fallen off.
Before I started packing up, Kay called me aside to talk. It seems that Chris had told her what had happened. She basically told me to not let it bother me. Where her friend was concerned, it was because she really didn't know me that well. On the other hand, Kay told me that knows that I'm not going to do anything stupid, and that she trusts me implicitly. If she didn't, I wouldn't be working at her fairs. She also told me that she was very upset with her friend for even suggesting what she did. I told her that once it was out in the energies, I felt better stopping than taking the chance that I might draw that to me.
Then she told me something interesting. She told me that the type of people that her friend was worried about don't come to her fair. She told me that she basically sends out what she wants to the universe, and that is what comes back. Interesting.
By being afraid of certain things, we actually draw those things to us. By declaring what we want, we bring those things in. Again, fear is something to avoid. It brings on what we are fearful of. Having allowed the negative thought into my energies, I knew that I could draw something in, which is why I stopped. I knew I needed to clear stuff, but couldn't manage to. She had made too big of an impression.
I have since cleared this negative energy from my fields, and don't expect to have this trouble again. And I have rethought my outlook on fear. (This may turn into another entry some time.) The key thing to remember is that we all have fear. We all can be incapacitated by it. What we have to do is be strong enough to move on. Fear keeps us from moving forward, so we need to let the fear go back into the universe where it can be transmuted to something positive. The more we worry about (fear) something happening the more chance we have of that happening, the more we draw it to us. We need to release it, and take a more positive attitude, draw to us what we want. It is a very interesting lesson, one we all need to learn.