I e-mailed a dear friend about what I was feeling as I try to be what I need to for my friend. Part of my text went like this...
Still somewhat numb here as I have been in contact with Terri either physically or energetically since Friday. I know what I know about what happened, as you pointed out. I just wish I could get over the feeling of failure. That of course is the emotional side of me talking. The healer side knows that what was supposed to happen, did. Fighting the feelings in that emotional side is very hard. I guess I wanted to cure instead of heal. Doctors cure, we heal. The subject can die, and we still heal. Just is hard when I feel her emotions mixed in with mine.
Her reply was (as always) straight to the point, and much more eloquent than I could have ever said it. And the quote she left me with at the end is priceless...
I know what you mean. The tears came the other day when I read what you sent out and I was sitting here crying when I wrote you back on the update. It is hard. But we do have to do our very best to make the distinction between the emotional and the "acceptance" ( there is that word again) of things that are beyond our own control. Jay chose to go to the other side. The only thing we can do as healers, friends, family, etc. is to respect his wish. He is in the hands of God. No greater healer than he.
I hated to whisper in my father's ear while he was in a somewhat comatose state that it " was OK Daddy, you can go if you want to " as I sat there beside his hospital bed and held his hand and watched tears come from his eyes, but he could not speak. Dad, was ready to go, just didn't want to leave all of us.
It was so damn hard for me too, even with my sister's death. But we have to accept it. And as healers, we want to make things different somehow, we want to be able to do "some good" especially for the person(s) grieving and wanting any sign of a miracle or some sort of recovery. But that cannot always be...the only thing you can do after something like this happens is to again, do what we do best, and that is to try and console and help, to send healing and comfort to the ones grieving. ( We all DID do some good, we did what we are supposed to do.) And do our best not to get caught up in those very same emotions that they are feeling. But that again, I understand it, is very hard to do. I have cried many tears that may have not been my own and have grieved with many, many people. I think too, that is the empathy side of us, naturally. Not always their emotions mixing with ours, but just the empathy that we feel for them, because we have been there perhaps. I cried off and on this past weekend from the news myself. It is called Empathy.
All my love to you my friend~
Sherry
" Love is that condition in which the
happiness of another person is essential to
your own. "
~ Robert Heinlein
Thank you, my friend. You always have a way of saying what needs to be said, and show the care you feel as you do. Love and light to you.