What are we, healers or humans? Is there a distinction? Can we ignore the pain around us, accept that things happen for a reason? I don't know about you, but its very hard.
Everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents. I believe all this. In fact, I keep getting slapped in the face with it all the time. There are just too many coincidences to call them coincidences.
We are trained as healers that no matter what happens, we have done healing. There was something I was taught while learning Therapeutic Touch. It stated that there is a difference between healing and curing. Doctors cure. When they don’t, their patients die. Healers heal. Even if their subject dies, they have done healing. The energy they have given was used by the soul to cross to the other side. Then there is more healing to do for those left behind.
We begin to die the moment we are born. And death is the natural result of life. Does this mean that doctors are fighting a losing battle? I don’t know that I can answer that question. I know that I desperately wanted to be a curer Friday night. I so much wanted there to be a way for Jay to come back, to be with Terri.
As one of the folks I sent e-mails to told me, 'whatever happens, it will be divine.' That is true, as everything has the hand of God in it. Also, everything we go through here, is a learning experience for the soul. As healers, we know that what we do, the energy we send, will be used by the soul as it wants, as it needs. It will be used to heal or to travel to the other side. As healers, we know this. As healers, we accept this. As emotional beings, it tears the crap out of us. As empaths, we feel everything that others feel. This makes us blessed and cursed. To know that it is divine, and to feel the pain and anguish allows us to truly learn, and experience what we need.
The logical, rational side of my brain understands, probably more than most people. It knows that what happened, had to happen. That what goes on, was meant to be. That how we face this, and continue to live this life, is the defining point of our character.
The emotional side of my brain sees, and knows other things. It knows what it feels like to lose someone close, whether that be a parent, a pet, or a friend. It knows, and has felt the emotions of mothers as they have had to bury their sons, of wives who say goodbye to their husbands, and try to explain to their children why this happened. It has felt the pain of a father who had to say goodbye to his wife, and companion for over 50 years. It feels the pain now, of a friend who is facing the biggest tragedy of her short life.
The healer takes over. He says the words that need to be said, sends love and calm when he needs to. He is there for his friend as much as he can be. He is the rock, as he has been so many times before.
The very human, emotional being, the empath, feels the emotions around him, feels his own emotions, and tries his best not to let them affect him. He does this knowing he will fail. Some day he thinks that he will be able to let them out, feel them, and not care. Deep down, he knows this day may never come, because he truly is a healer.
As I write this, tears form in my eyes. They come from the emotions of my friend, and myself, and the people that I have seen go through similar situations. I guess it means that I have compassion.
Does the emotion of compassion make us better human beings? Does it make us better healers? Or does it just bog us down in the drudge that everyone goes through? Does it make us less than we should be because we lose sight of the goal? Do we lose healing ability because we have to dig through so much emotion? I don’t know. I do know that I can’t be Spock. I need to feel, and taste the emotion, even though it is painful.
This has left me questioning far too many things. Like who, and what am I? But deep down, I know.
Healer I be. Healer, heal thyself.
My prayers and energies are with Terri as she struggles to get through this time, and forge on with her life. I remain a healer, and will continue to do so, until I can no longer. Right now, I am there for my friend, as I have been for others. I will be there until she no longer needs me. Then, there will be someone else that does.
As I say, my prayers are with her. My thanks are with all that have helped and are helping. As healers, we all know we did what we could. It may not have been what we wanted, but it was all we could do.
May love and light be with you in every step you take.