I think I need to figure some way to make a message board out here. I need somewhere to put feedback that I get from these postings. I guess today’s message is “Dealing with Self Doubt”, and I am not teaching it.
My psychic friend Sherry (and no, I am not talking about the psychic friends network), responded to my posting. She basically told me that the reasons I can’t do things is because I doubt myself. I have been told that I have a lot of power and energy, and that the only reason I can’t use it is because I doubt.
I have always claimed to be the skeptic. I need something proven to me before I take it on blind faith. The existence of energy was proven to me, as was the existence of God. Admittedly, I have to try things to see them happen. At the same time, I am open to seeing them happen.
So, why can’t I just openly believe in me? Maybe it goes back to being shown through my entire life that I am nothing special. I was never the athlete, or the brain, or the class comic. I was actually the kid that got picked on by all the others. And the meek shall inherit the earth? Not sure there either. I just know that some people listen when I talk, and believe what I say. I tend to think that is because it comes from honesty, and not a sales pitch.
I think I tend to operate in the realm of Ralph Hinkley. I’m sure most of you are asking who in hell Ralph Hinkley is. Many years ago, there was a television show titled “The Greatest American Hero” which comically followed the exploits of a Superman type character who got his powers from a red suit given to him by aliens. The problem was that he lost the instruction manual. Everything he did was doubting, and hoping. Some times the suit worked, and some times it didn’t. This is where I feel I work from, that middle ground of hoping that I can help someone, rather than the confidence of knowing I can.
I guess what scares me is not having these abilities, but becoming so confident in them that I become cocky, or let my ego take over. We all have an ego. Some expand theirs to fill every corner of whatever room they’re in. I tend to hide mine as much as I can. When I do something, even at work, that is amazing (and I’m talking computer programming at work), I might make the comment ‘Damn, I’m good”, but I really don’t believe it. When at work, I tend to sit around a lot and wait for divine inspiration to strike. It does a lot.
But at any rate, here is the response I found in the mail this morning...
Uh huh, and there you go again, not believing in your own self. <Tisk Tisk> Ok, who cares what we think. Know why? Cause it absolutely doesn't matter what we said, really, it doesn't. We called it as we see and saw it. We see things differently. What matters is that you are able to "believe" and "accept" that you possibly had a lot to do with this, and until you, yourself, are able to accept that fact (and not allow ego in the way, or for it to inflate), and just accept it graciously, you will forever keep that "wall" between yourself. Having belief in yourself and the other side which is far too full of self doubt, my friend. Double dog dare you to cross that line. And triple dog dare you to post this. LOL Kidding.
Again, as in "we are what we eat" we too are "we are what we dare to dream, become and accept”. Wow. Think of the possibilities then when we can finally do that. Keyword for today: Acceptance. lol
Kill the self doubts. No room for acceptance inside of a person whom self doubts his or her own abilities. And as long as ego doesn't get in the way of that ability, all is good.
So, I guess the keyword for today is “acceptance”. I think it will have to be the keyword for a while to come too. (And you thought I preached a lot.) I need people preaching to me more than I do to others. I know, acceptance.
Thank you, my friend.